Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
