Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
