butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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