Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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