brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
