she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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