What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
