How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
