So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
