You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
