On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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