No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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