And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
