Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
