like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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