Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
