Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
