i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize