found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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