We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is Oprah even human
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
