There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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