I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
