his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
