haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
