help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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