we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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