I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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