I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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