hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize