My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
