You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
