my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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