I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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