Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize