Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
