I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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