Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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