dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
