So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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