win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
