so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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