that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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