he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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