Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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