eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
