uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
