I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
