I wannas sexs uuuuu
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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