I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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