dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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