I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I smell stomach acid.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
