Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
