She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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