Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
