Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
