Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
