He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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