After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
