I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
