thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so that wasnt chicken after all
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
