I accidentally burped into my bong.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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